Hey everyone!
I would like to say big thanks to my blog readers,especially those who are interested and have been giving positive comments to my blogs. After i read the latest comments, i realised that this world is not that ugly anyway. there are still some ppl who appreciate me and share similar thinking with me, though there might be many ppl who will criticise me. I am very thankful of that.
Although i have mentioned that i will close this blog of 4yrs, i will still blog a little of what's happening to me whenever i drop by to view comments. With some people look forward to view my latest entry, I will definitely not disappoint them and here i am!
So far, i have been working in MPS for 1.5months. the first 2 weeks are orientation training programme,followed by start of shift work training attached to a team. After working with my team for some time, i realised that this job,or rather this industry, is not for me. It could be due to the fact that i am not used to intensive fieldwork,which results me covered with sweat at the end of the day. in another words, i am not physically conditioned to work in such environment. Initially, i thought it would be a fun experience working in Jurong Island but i was wrong. I have no idea why i thought of switching to another job (most probably a service job in F&B line), but ever since i was burn by steam trace and also kena muscle infection on my neck (one day MC), i felt i am just not suitable for this job coz this job is physically and mentally too demanding for me.
The only thing that holds me back is the financial problems. what if i had settled for lesser income job? i am afraid that i will go back to the days of "poverty" again when i am penniless until i have to go around borrow $.
However, i am still determined to resign from this job as a field technician. I hope that there will be some people who will support my decision.
Good night and thank u guys for ur time :)
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Monday, August 02, 2010
ORD lor!
After staying away from this blogging thingy for so long, i have decided to write this post (probably the last post,i think?) to summarise what i have experienced in my 2 years of NS.
(Ps: this post will most probably be my very final post as I dun think i can commit to blogging regularly like 3 yrs ago,with Facebook being my most often visited website o meet friend and play Restaurant City Games.)
I will be completing my NS (aka ORD) on 14th September 2010 (6weeks from now!) and resume my life as civilian. I am so happy and excited to this big day. =D
After my ORD (operational ready date), I will be working for Mitsui Phenols Singapore (MPS) in Jurong Island as a Process Technician. i am looking forward to leading a much better life as my salary is rather well paid. Hey, u know what? i'll be working with phenol and BPA (Bisphenol-A) most of the time,so it could be a high risk that i will kena burn by phenol...
Before i was enlisted two yrs ago on 15th sept 2008, i was so unsure and worried abt the life in NS as i will be going thru a transition from civilian to military personnel. i wasn't in good shape,so during the 3 months of BMT in P.Tekong, i suffered a lot as the physical and combat training is too tough for mi that i had wanted to give up. i had made a lot of stupid mistakes that made most ppl in my BMT platoon so dislike mi.
After BMT, i move on to SSC @Changi naval base. the 1st 2 weeks of RP course @ Clementi camp was like in heaven when we can book out from camp daily, with plenty of canteen breaks in between lessons. then comes the 10weeks long grueling SSC. the course was much tougher than BMT as everything was so regimental and we were required to attend swim lessons and ability grp runs almost daily. this made mi so physically shack that i wanted to OOC (which i didnt in the end.)
After 10weeks of SSC, i finally graduated on the POC with a conditional pass of IPPT on that day itself. the following week i was posted to Tuas Defence Squadron @ Tuas naval base. we had one week of block leave. after which our OJT starts when we learnt all the land and sea Ops.
Finally, i was posted to TDS Platoon 1. Life was generally good in TDS as the pace was very slow down and we are not treated like trainees anymore. TNB is near to where i live and there's air con bunk to enjoy throughout my service in TDS. Despite that, the vocation is not so good as we had to stay in 7 days throughout to mount duty until the platoon 2 takes over the following week,but thank God that we are still able to take leave or mounting off during mounting.
For me, life in TDS wasn't like a bed of roses as there's too many bad stories about me in camp. I didn't have good relationship with this platoon,not even with my batch mates. though i had committed many stupid mistakes, i should give thanks to God that i didnt get into greater trouble. Despite many troubles i gotten into, i was given 2days confinement for my SAR 21 getting stunned during combat shoots, 1 extra for misplacing my RCK, and 1 SOL(stoppage of leave) for sleeping while on duty. though i was so unpopular in my platoon, i did have some friends who still talk to mi at friendly level.
As my ORD is approaching soon, i hope that i can throw away all the unhappiness i had in TDS platoon 1 behind me and lead a new life afresh after ORD. Let God bless mi,ok?
Oh well, although this is last entry of my blog,i will still come back occasionally to check out the comments(if there's any)... i shall end it here. Take Care and good luck to all readers!
Regards,
Elvin Hayashi
(Always happy and wise! =D)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Is this the kind of life I should lead in the NS?
So far, i have joined TDS BSC platoon 1 for more than 6 months. SSC 20 and 21 have even joined the platoon already. Though the living pace now has slowed down as SSC and BMT training phases are over, life is not getting any better for me in TDS.
Ever since i came to TDS, from OJT until now,i have seemed to have made a lot of enemies instead of new friends. Though its not appropriate for me to mention their names here, given the fact that i have been enduring their nonsense for so long,i have no choice but to vent my frustrations here. I guess this is my only channel to voice out my feelings. So for those who have been very sarcastic to me or spread rumours abt me, dun ever think i'm a pushover just because i keep quiet abt it and that doesnt mean u guys can keep gossipping abt me!!!
Platoon 1 is very well-known for spreading rumours and gossiping. those ppl involving in "bullying" me are: 3SG Joseph (fan)Choy, QQ, Liang Hong,CPL Kristen, Jefter Ang, Jafar,Aaron,Jermyn, Jason Oh, Jason Lim KX, Han Loong,Edmund,Rafiz,Boon Hou,Tian Hui,LCP Chris Torsen the bi,Wilson,Daryl Ho(le),Kwang Wei,Yuxuan,Idrus,Kevin Chew,Shui Yuan aka shui jiao gyoza,Zhen Ye,Nicholas Lee,Weijie,Kynaston, Jun Liang and Azizul...
those names i mentioned, pls listen!!! U think u can manipulate me? Not so easy. I am sure God will judge u by the end of the day for u guys already judging me!
i knew from Zhen Ye and nicholas lee (SSC20) that the seniors (SSC 18 and above) have been feeding them a lot of stories about me. they have blacklisted me in this platoon as i have a lot of bad reputation in this platoon such as my ops very cui and my poor hygiene. none of them are willing to sit next to me whenever ther's a lesson or bus trip to another place. they are very sarcastic, whoever sits next to me is the "hero"...like as if sitting beside me will kena disease....Fuck u!!!
Although i am a christian, i wun hesitate to use such a vulgar phrase. i need to speak up one day.i know that i cant always be a tortoise,always hiding under my shell (comfort zone). So Lord Father, is this the kind of NS life i am goin to live? Or is thisgoing to continue on the rest of my life?
Ever since i came to TDS, from OJT until now,i have seemed to have made a lot of enemies instead of new friends. Though its not appropriate for me to mention their names here, given the fact that i have been enduring their nonsense for so long,i have no choice but to vent my frustrations here. I guess this is my only channel to voice out my feelings. So for those who have been very sarcastic to me or spread rumours abt me, dun ever think i'm a pushover just because i keep quiet abt it and that doesnt mean u guys can keep gossipping abt me!!!
Platoon 1 is very well-known for spreading rumours and gossiping. those ppl involving in "bullying" me are: 3SG Joseph (fan)Choy, QQ, Liang Hong,CPL Kristen, Jefter Ang, Jafar,Aaron,Jermyn, Jason Oh, Jason Lim KX, Han Loong,Edmund,Rafiz,Boon Hou,Tian Hui,LCP Chris Torsen the bi,Wilson,Daryl Ho(le),Kwang Wei,Yuxuan,Idrus,Kevin Chew,Shui Yuan aka shui jiao gyoza,Zhen Ye,Nicholas Lee,Weijie,Kynaston, Jun Liang and Azizul...
those names i mentioned, pls listen!!! U think u can manipulate me? Not so easy. I am sure God will judge u by the end of the day for u guys already judging me!
i knew from Zhen Ye and nicholas lee (SSC20) that the seniors (SSC 18 and above) have been feeding them a lot of stories about me. they have blacklisted me in this platoon as i have a lot of bad reputation in this platoon such as my ops very cui and my poor hygiene. none of them are willing to sit next to me whenever ther's a lesson or bus trip to another place. they are very sarcastic, whoever sits next to me is the "hero"...like as if sitting beside me will kena disease....Fuck u!!!
Although i am a christian, i wun hesitate to use such a vulgar phrase. i need to speak up one day.i know that i cant always be a tortoise,always hiding under my shell (comfort zone). So Lord Father, is this the kind of NS life i am goin to live? Or is thisgoing to continue on the rest of my life?
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Time really flies. Tomorrow will be my mounting day. the 7 days of standby seems so short,yet 7days of mounting duty in camp seems so long...my vocation in tuas naval base as a sea soldier really sucks......
So far i have joined TDS Platoon 1 for almost 4months already. Initially i dun like to join platoon 1 at all because of this selfish fucker who thinks he's always right. Well, my lucks dun seem to be good thats y i kena this platoon even though i really prayed so hard to get into platoon 2 (which is popular among everyone in ssc19)
I have something in mind. I have similar case like Kevin Alexander Chew (from SSC 20) and Kelvin Teo (from ssc12). We are all outcasted,especially by our own batchmates. Ever since the OJT (on-job training) period in TDS, most of my batch mates never talked to me in respectful manner. They are either being sarcastic to me or like to find fault with me, or even to the extent of badmouthing me behind my back to the ssc 20 or the seniors.
they can dislike me for all i care, but i never expect them to do such thing to destroy my name. How can they influence other ppl to dislike me as well? this is certainly not fair to me,especially when platoon 1 is well known for the culture of 老教切新教....so surely platoon 1 seniors, especially that fucker sergeant who's living in serangoon, will definite qie me....
Thus my life in platoon 1 is definitely not a smooth sailing and easy in the first place. Whether i do duty at West and East towers, DOC or guardhouse, there will bound to be someone who wun like me at all. this harsh fact has made me so emo ( slang for being demoralised and depressed) already. there are times when i really talk to myself by using my hp to act as a smoke object but Sergeant Danial, my GC, caught me doing that but i denied it.
Its only then when i do duty with that fucker Kelvin Teo (ORDed already), Jafar the CQ and Liang Hong (ssc 18 sgt), i understand why so many ppl in platoon 1 dun talk to me or even see me as invisible. this fact has further made me so emo.
As i have done several duty cycles, ssc 20 have also joined TDS. When i first met ssc20, i felt that time actually pass very fast as one month we only have to complete 2 duty cycles.when ssc 20 joined the platoon, i will become a senior. i do felt good about it. so when ssc20 were doing their ojt, i will take this good chance to build up friendship with them, and at the same time,while imparting ops knowledge to them as a senior, i can also improve on my daily land and sea security ops. I knew that my ops is really damn cui (hokkien word for lousy and fucked up), but i am willing to go thru my ojt notebook again and refresh my memory and also learn the hard way by kena fucked by that fucked up guard commander constantly during normal ops.
ok la, i shall stop here as tomorrow is the start of duty. so gotta sleep early tonight.....
So far i have joined TDS Platoon 1 for almost 4months already. Initially i dun like to join platoon 1 at all because of this selfish fucker who thinks he's always right. Well, my lucks dun seem to be good thats y i kena this platoon even though i really prayed so hard to get into platoon 2 (which is popular among everyone in ssc19)
I have something in mind. I have similar case like Kevin Alexander Chew (from SSC 20) and Kelvin Teo (from ssc12). We are all outcasted,especially by our own batchmates. Ever since the OJT (on-job training) period in TDS, most of my batch mates never talked to me in respectful manner. They are either being sarcastic to me or like to find fault with me, or even to the extent of badmouthing me behind my back to the ssc 20 or the seniors.
they can dislike me for all i care, but i never expect them to do such thing to destroy my name. How can they influence other ppl to dislike me as well? this is certainly not fair to me,especially when platoon 1 is well known for the culture of 老教切新教....so surely platoon 1 seniors, especially that fucker sergeant who's living in serangoon, will definite qie me....
Thus my life in platoon 1 is definitely not a smooth sailing and easy in the first place. Whether i do duty at West and East towers, DOC or guardhouse, there will bound to be someone who wun like me at all. this harsh fact has made me so emo ( slang for being demoralised and depressed) already. there are times when i really talk to myself by using my hp to act as a smoke object but Sergeant Danial, my GC, caught me doing that but i denied it.
Its only then when i do duty with that fucker Kelvin Teo (ORDed already), Jafar the CQ and Liang Hong (ssc 18 sgt), i understand why so many ppl in platoon 1 dun talk to me or even see me as invisible. this fact has further made me so emo.
As i have done several duty cycles, ssc 20 have also joined TDS. When i first met ssc20, i felt that time actually pass very fast as one month we only have to complete 2 duty cycles.when ssc 20 joined the platoon, i will become a senior. i do felt good about it. so when ssc20 were doing their ojt, i will take this good chance to build up friendship with them, and at the same time,while imparting ops knowledge to them as a senior, i can also improve on my daily land and sea security ops. I knew that my ops is really damn cui (hokkien word for lousy and fucked up), but i am willing to go thru my ojt notebook again and refresh my memory and also learn the hard way by kena fucked by that fucked up guard commander constantly during normal ops.
ok la, i shall stop here as tomorrow is the start of duty. so gotta sleep early tonight.....
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Its's been almost 3months since i last blogged...Time flies... Actually its quite hard for me to maintain this blog and its a surprise that my blog exists until now...
There are many times i wanted to pour out my emotions into this blog but due to the fatigue from 7 days duty in camp,so i cant be bothered until now.
Recently i logged on to MSN. Then i saw Kelvin Wah,one of the friends i knew in SP,online. Now he dun really speak much to mi le . Perhaps i am no longer belong to his former care grps,so he has no obligation to keep in touch with me....3yrs of friendship,just gone like that....
Kelvin is my senior for the same course we studied. In fact, he's the very first friend i knew in SP 4yrs ago as he approached me when i went to SP for enrollment. He asked me to do a simple survey for him and the survey is all about Christianity. He was actually doing evangelism job, trying to engage non-Christians who just joined SP. This is how i get to know him when he smsed me one month later.
Kelvin was from God of Hope Church Singapore. there are many times he keep inviting me to his care group, which is quite to City harvest church version of cell group. Eventually, under pressure i decide to accept Christ as my Saviour and Lord.
Things weren't too bad until months later i felt that i have been blindly attending services every sat,and also have to stay ard for "fellowshipping"....that time i wasnt financially healthy so i always gave excuses to siam this fellowship. Everytime we went to S11 foodcourt or Republic foodcourt at Wisma i will have to spend at least 10dollars. sometimes, if the caregrp is going somewhere to hang out, thats even worse...
That time, i also attended Jehovah Witnesses Bible study actively,so more or less, i am drifted away from God. Also later on the care grp leader knew about it, he gave me a good lecture and from that time onwards the ppl from that care grp started to treat me with different attitude....
Here's the main thing i wanted to share: I hated those Christians who go all the way out for the unsaved ones just to convert them to christians. thats y even if they dun really like this particular "lost sheep",they still have to be nice to them for a purpose. this is why i feel that kelvin's caregrp are very fake or insincere since they befriended me for the purpose of evangelism (in evangelism, fellowship is one of the important steps before sharing christ)....
All along, i am not keen to be converted at all. Even Kelvin (my only close friend in this care grp) keep pressuring me to get holy baptised so that i can pray in tongue alomg with the church. i'm amazed by their persistence to get me baptised by praying non-stop but seriously i dun really feel the presence of Holy Spirit at all. So to avoid wasting time, i actually acted as if Holy Spirit has came to me and i am given the gift of tongue. this moment indeed made them so happy.
I always felt that i am not a genuine converts yet i obliged them by attending shepping session and weekend services...i have plans to tell kelvin that i will leave this care grp for good.....1month later, i went back to city harvest church to re-experience the home and presence of the Lord when i was still attending CHC svcs....that service i attended have made me soften and touched my heart and i decided to go back to CHC. As such, i told kelvin of my decision to leave the care grp for chc when he asked me when i wanna go back for caregrp. fortunately, he respected my decision as he understood my reasons for doing that...
Soon after that, those ppl i knew from kelvin's caregrp has treated me with different attitude. When i bumped into Lennon(care grp leader), caleb and Elisha(my shepherds), Jaron,Zhenyan and the rest in school, i said hi to them but they treated me as invisible... Was kind of disappointed but this is understandable as usually i hack care about this care grp by not attending services and caregrp meeting regularly...i am rude to Lennon and i dun usually mix with my care grp ppl. thats y i was thinking, with my fucked up attitude, why they still treated me so nice? if one day i'm not of the family, they will show me their true colours....they should dislike me, not tolerate me and still smile at me...so fake lor...haiz...
I'm so disappointed with HOPE OF GOD CHURCH S'PORE!!!
There are many times i wanted to pour out my emotions into this blog but due to the fatigue from 7 days duty in camp,so i cant be bothered until now.
Recently i logged on to MSN. Then i saw Kelvin Wah,one of the friends i knew in SP,online. Now he dun really speak much to mi le . Perhaps i am no longer belong to his former care grps,so he has no obligation to keep in touch with me....3yrs of friendship,just gone like that....
Kelvin is my senior for the same course we studied. In fact, he's the very first friend i knew in SP 4yrs ago as he approached me when i went to SP for enrollment. He asked me to do a simple survey for him and the survey is all about Christianity. He was actually doing evangelism job, trying to engage non-Christians who just joined SP. This is how i get to know him when he smsed me one month later.
Kelvin was from God of Hope Church Singapore. there are many times he keep inviting me to his care group, which is quite to City harvest church version of cell group. Eventually, under pressure i decide to accept Christ as my Saviour and Lord.
Things weren't too bad until months later i felt that i have been blindly attending services every sat,and also have to stay ard for "fellowshipping"....that time i wasnt financially healthy so i always gave excuses to siam this fellowship. Everytime we went to S11 foodcourt or Republic foodcourt at Wisma i will have to spend at least 10dollars. sometimes, if the caregrp is going somewhere to hang out, thats even worse...
That time, i also attended Jehovah Witnesses Bible study actively,so more or less, i am drifted away from God. Also later on the care grp leader knew about it, he gave me a good lecture and from that time onwards the ppl from that care grp started to treat me with different attitude....
Here's the main thing i wanted to share: I hated those Christians who go all the way out for the unsaved ones just to convert them to christians. thats y even if they dun really like this particular "lost sheep",they still have to be nice to them for a purpose. this is why i feel that kelvin's caregrp are very fake or insincere since they befriended me for the purpose of evangelism (in evangelism, fellowship is one of the important steps before sharing christ)....
All along, i am not keen to be converted at all. Even Kelvin (my only close friend in this care grp) keep pressuring me to get holy baptised so that i can pray in tongue alomg with the church. i'm amazed by their persistence to get me baptised by praying non-stop but seriously i dun really feel the presence of Holy Spirit at all. So to avoid wasting time, i actually acted as if Holy Spirit has came to me and i am given the gift of tongue. this moment indeed made them so happy.
I always felt that i am not a genuine converts yet i obliged them by attending shepping session and weekend services...i have plans to tell kelvin that i will leave this care grp for good.....1month later, i went back to city harvest church to re-experience the home and presence of the Lord when i was still attending CHC svcs....that service i attended have made me soften and touched my heart and i decided to go back to CHC. As such, i told kelvin of my decision to leave the care grp for chc when he asked me when i wanna go back for caregrp. fortunately, he respected my decision as he understood my reasons for doing that...
Soon after that, those ppl i knew from kelvin's caregrp has treated me with different attitude. When i bumped into Lennon(care grp leader), caleb and Elisha(my shepherds), Jaron,Zhenyan and the rest in school, i said hi to them but they treated me as invisible... Was kind of disappointed but this is understandable as usually i hack care about this care grp by not attending services and caregrp meeting regularly...i am rude to Lennon and i dun usually mix with my care grp ppl. thats y i was thinking, with my fucked up attitude, why they still treated me so nice? if one day i'm not of the family, they will show me their true colours....they should dislike me, not tolerate me and still smile at me...so fake lor...haiz...
I'm so disappointed with HOPE OF GOD CHURCH S'PORE!!!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
爱的太迟 by 古巨基
我过去那死党早晚共对各也扎职以後没法畅聚
而终於相约到但无言共对疏淡如水
日夜做见爸爸刚好想呻 却霎眼看出他多了皱纹
而他的苍老感 是从来未觉太内疚担心
最心痛是 爱得太迟 有些心意 不可等某个日子
盲目地发奋 忙忙忙其实自私 梦中也习惯有压力要我得知
最可怕是 爱需要及时只差一秒 心声都已变历史
忙极极放肆 见我爱的见相知 要抱要吻怎麽也好
偏要推说要等一下次
我也觉我体质仿似下降 看了正得到是别要太忙
而影碟都扫光但从来未看 因有事赶
日夜做储的钱都应该够 到圣诞正好讲 跟我白头
谁知他开了口 未能挨下去 己恨我很久
错失太易 爱得太迟 我怎想到 她忍不到那日子
盲目地发奋 忙忙忙从来未知 幸福会掠过
再也没法说锺意 爱一个字 也需要及时
只差一秒 心声都己变历史 为忙而放肆
见我爱见的相知 要抱要吻怎麽也好
不要相信一切有下次 相拥我所爱又花几多秒
这几秒 能够做到又有多少
未算少 足够遗憾忙掉
多少抱憾 多少过路人
太懂估计 却不懂爱锡自身
人人在发奋 想起他朝都兴奋
但今晚未过 你要过也很吸引
纵不信运 你不过是人
理想很远 爱於咫尺却在等
来日别操心 趁你有能力开心
世界有太多东西发生 不要等到天上苦困
而终於相约到但无言共对疏淡如水
日夜做见爸爸刚好想呻 却霎眼看出他多了皱纹
而他的苍老感 是从来未觉太内疚担心
最心痛是 爱得太迟 有些心意 不可等某个日子
盲目地发奋 忙忙忙其实自私 梦中也习惯有压力要我得知
最可怕是 爱需要及时只差一秒 心声都已变历史
忙极极放肆 见我爱的见相知 要抱要吻怎麽也好
偏要推说要等一下次
我也觉我体质仿似下降 看了正得到是别要太忙
而影碟都扫光但从来未看 因有事赶
日夜做储的钱都应该够 到圣诞正好讲 跟我白头
谁知他开了口 未能挨下去 己恨我很久
错失太易 爱得太迟 我怎想到 她忍不到那日子
盲目地发奋 忙忙忙从来未知 幸福会掠过
再也没法说锺意 爱一个字 也需要及时
只差一秒 心声都己变历史 为忙而放肆
见我爱见的相知 要抱要吻怎麽也好
不要相信一切有下次 相拥我所爱又花几多秒
这几秒 能够做到又有多少
未算少 足够遗憾忙掉
多少抱憾 多少过路人
太懂估计 却不懂爱锡自身
人人在发奋 想起他朝都兴奋
但今晚未过 你要过也很吸引
纵不信运 你不过是人
理想很远 爱於咫尺却在等
来日别操心 趁你有能力开心
世界有太多东西发生 不要等到天上苦困
Friday, May 08, 2009
Finally just dismounted from my 7 day duty at Tuas naval base....Quite a few things happened recently. First is the outbreak of swine flu in Mexico, therefore Singapore govt,being kiasu,has raised the alert level from green to yellow to orange. Orange code means that for us doing land side duties have to wear mask and gloves when on duty as we will be directly in contact with the incoming drivers and walk in personnel to our base...just like Sars episode 6 years ago... sian....
Another thing is that i have secured a place in NTU (i used to go there for fyp) and i will be reading a Master degree in Chemistry and Biological Chemistry. I will commence my uni study next yr Aug,so i will have to request for disruption of NS from my unit TDS (Tuas Defence Squadron) for one month...As u know, 1 month does make a lot of diference....anyway,Congrats to myself! :)
Feeling very tired now,so i going to sleep now....Good nite and have a sweet dreamz.... :p
Another thing is that i have secured a place in NTU (i used to go there for fyp) and i will be reading a Master degree in Chemistry and Biological Chemistry. I will commence my uni study next yr Aug,so i will have to request for disruption of NS from my unit TDS (Tuas Defence Squadron) for one month...As u know, 1 month does make a lot of diference....anyway,Congrats to myself! :)
Feeling very tired now,so i going to sleep now....Good nite and have a sweet dreamz.... :p
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